In February a dear friend pointed me towards the live Satsangs that were commencing in Rishikesh, India, with Mooji. I had attended a silent retreat of his via live broadcast last year, delighting in his clarity and pointing, however it seemed a ‘one off’ experience. So I was somewhat surprised to find myself, yet again, sitting in a friend’s lounge room watching Mooji, transfixed to the tv screen feeling deeply moved. This first Satsang became one of many as I sat at home each afternoon participating with some 2000 people in Rishikesh, and who knows how many others tuning in around the world.

As the weeks went by, the Satsang questions moved from ‘wisdom’ questions about personal problems or understandings to ‘freedom’ questions for awareness and awakening. After week three the whole mood and energy of the Satsangs changed as a steady flow of people stepped up to the microphone and began following Mooji’s pointings into experiencing the truth of their being.  And here I was, sitting on a cushion on the floor, watching it all on my 13inch Mac screen, feeling as though I too was sitting in Rishikesh, riding the wave home.

Thank you Mooji.

I am never sure where or when the next pointing comes, or what piece it plays in the  experience of evolving with Awareness. Perhaps it is in retrospect I am able to allow the mind to provide a story of ‘this goes with that’ speculation. As always, I am deeply grateful for the pointings, noticing more and more everything is a pointing, and for the wonderful beings that play their part, some of whom I’m lucky enough to call friends.


ps… if you’d like to watch some of the recently recorded Satsangs with Mooji in Rishikesh,  you can find many of them here on his YouTube channel. Enjoy!

Image courtesy of Photos with Mooji



the purge

the purge - melinda blair paterson - 2015

It would appear the body needed a 24 hour purge. (I’ll spare you the details.) And yet, right there, right in the middle of it was the experience: if I follow thought, the pain and discomfort increases, and if I relax and rest back from thought, it eases. And so it went, back and forth like ping pong, watching the cramps increase and then fall away. Fascinating!

Shifting in and out of sleep. Crow medicine was clearly heard at one stage, screeching through the body, sweeping out the darker corners of resistance. Resting into the sound and giving thanks. Later a storm is passing. Lightening lights up the bed, whilst thunderous rain bashes its way past like an impatient shopper on route to that much wanted bargain. Sleep, sleep, the body just wanted sleep.

In the early hours of the morning a peace descended, both within and without. The body felt weak but strong. The being felt clear and grateful. The crows continue their healing cries: wake up, get up, live!


about today

Melinda Blair Paterson

There’s nothing unusual about today,
yes I have a head cold
and the farmer’s market
like any other Friday.

There’s nothing unusual in this day,
watched a movie
and texts of care from friends
like every other day.

So why am I suddenly on my knees,
howling like a child
hands beating chest
begging to be broken?

Why are the tears followed by rage,
primal sounds
flashes of faces
crying to be taken?

passes through
yet there is no need

The tears desist
the nose blows
the body rises
from the floor.

You see… there’s nothing unusual about today.

the feminine face

Untitled -  2014 - Melinda Blair Paterson
Untitled – 2014 – Melinda Blair Paterson

This week I received an email newsletter from SAND (Science and Non Duality). You may have heard of them? They are an organisation that promote wonderful teachers in these fields, and hold a number of popular conferences throughout the year both in America and Europe, that discuss the nature of Consciousness. So it was a delight when I opened this beautiful email of images and information inviting me to view a new short film they had created titled ‘Exploring the Nature of Consciousness‘. I grabbed myself a cuppa and sat back to enjoy.

The opening images of streaming soft sunlight, people moving through nature, and calming music immediately set the tone to relax and receive. The first teacher appeared on screen to share… a man, then another and another. It did cut to an image of a beautiful young blond woman looking up into the camera with a gentle gaze. She never spoke. The next teacher came on screen…. a man. (Hmmm there might be a pattern here?) There were a few more images of women throughout the 6 minute video, one playing a cello on the beach, another looking into the sunset, and even a beautiful woman dancing whilst bathed in sunlight. Not one of these women spoke. The whole short film was of male teachers speaking about the nature of Consciousness. The video ended and I just sat there, not sure what to do with the sense of rising anger and the question:

Where are the women (teachers)?

It seemed that even though the film had been beautifully and thoughtfully crafted, it felt such a repeat of the old paradigm using only the male face of Life (God) to share information. Where were the women in this field? Surely I’m not the only one watching this short film noticing an obvious lack of the intelligent female face of Life, other than what appeared to be in the role of eye candy! Which brings me to another question. Why were the women all young?
Please SANDs (and the majority of media on this planet today) do not insult my innate intelligence, wisdom and knowing by offering the male form as THE only authority on a subject, and in particular, Consciousness. For the truth is Consciousness is neither male or female, and yet creates itself in both forms.

As my dear friend Miriam Louisa of This Unlit Light wrote recently on the same subject in her poem…

when you know yourself

you know that there is nothing that is not God

you know that the face of God
is the Face of faces
you know It as both He and She
and neither: nada

Please know I have nothing against men, and in particular, male teachers, as I respectfully acknowledge the gifts and pointing I have received from both Adyashanti and Rupert Spira. However, having journeyed for over thirty years through the maze of 80s, 90s, and 00s of spiritual teachings, it is only in recent years I have thankfully found women (teachers) to help balance my deeply conditioned experience of the unconscious patriarchal authoritative culture we live in.

And yes slowly, ever so slowly, as each person awakens to the truth of who they are, this is changing. Which is why I feel when we are aware and have the opportunity to share wisdom, particularly on the subject of Consciousness, we present the Face of Truth, of Life, of God, as equally from both men and women. Mx

ps… Miriam Louisa has also created a page on her blog This Unlit Light titled: wideawake women, which came into being to highlight the fact that there are many clear and quietly powerful women pointing to the Great Perfection, each in their own way. Bless you Miriam. x


image: ‘Kathy’ by melinda blair paterson

Hi All… It’s been a few weeks since I last posted. I seem to have been in a space of ‘not sure what to say!‘ I’ve wanted to talk about my friend, Kathy, but am not sure where to start or what to say or not say. I certainly do not wish to offend Kathy, or say anything that is inappropriate, afterall she is a very dear friend and quite a private person. You may have read in prior posts my referring to ‘my awake friend’. Well it seems time to come clean, cause talking about or writing the words ‘my awake friend’ just feels like a bit of a wank really.

Kathy is someone that came into my life a few years ago. We regularly bumped into each other at spritual gatherings and on the streets of Byron Bay when she was visiting. We would go and have a cuppa together and I would listen as she began telling me about consciousness… or awareness… or whatever you want to call it. I didn’t even know the term ‘non duality’ back then.  I really tried to understand what she was talking about, but I was very much into the Law of Attraction teachings at the time and living the dream! Needless to say, I was totally into controlling the mind and not really able to grasp what on earth she was talking about as it was definitely not from the mind!

I would go away feeling exhausted, ‘brain fry’, as I call it, and yet always came back for more. These spontaneous meetings happened on and off over a couple of years until Kathy and her partner came to live in Byron Bay…. that’s when things really started to hot up for me regarding ‘non duality’. It was like I had been wandering in the desert of new ageism and spirituality for years, only to finally find a river from which I could drink, and drink I did. I couldn’t get enough at first. I just wanted to hang out with Kathy every opportunity I could, ask questions… and I had lots of questions;  gain glimpses (or so it seemed), and  slowly, ever so slowly, begin to notice changes within myself.

It’s been twelve months now and I’ve loved being around Kathy… and I’ve hated it. I’ve seen myself drink from the river until I could take no more only to scream within ‘No, I don’t want to hear another word!’ Kathy knows this of course. She senses my resistence every time, and every time it is excruciating… the resistence I mean… and then it passes.

After awhile new friends met Kathy and my one-on-ones became groups of people all hungry for the same. All hungry to know the truth and wake up. So I learnt to let go of my personal time with Kathy and watched as others drank in the energy, ask the questions and made the quiet shifts within.

I had the priviledge of spending a day with Kathy last week. I offered to help her move house. It was like our early days together.  Pretty much from the moment I walked in the door it was on… we were talking awareness… well let me clarify… Kathy was talking from awareness… I was listening and asking my usual mindy questions… but it was a great day. We’d move a few boxes, take a load to the next house, sit down for a cuppa, talk for an hour or so and then do another load, then it was time to eat… more talk, then another load etc. The day just effortless passed and the moving somehow happened within it. We even had time to explore the property, check out the new gardens, vegie patch and local creek. It was amazing. I felt so alive the whole time… and in so much love. You see that’s Kathy… the presence of Love.

My perception and experience of Kathy is she is a very ordinary person. She has no need to teach and yet when we get together I am so grateful that she spontaneously lets it flow from her like a river. It’s effortless. Of course, after spending the day with Kathy I came home… and Yep… you guested it… ‘brain fry’ big time.  It sometimes feels like I’ve been run over by a Mac truck… and there is not a lot to say… in fact I find there is nothing to say… and that’s great.

So where a couple of weeks ago I was screaming ‘No, I don’t want to hear anymore’… in this moment…my heart is open, I feel rested and relaxed, and watching… yes lots of watching… and welcoming it all… and just being. There seems to be an increase of compassion for others, a willingness to feel my aloneness, and a deeper sense of trust in life. I’m very grateful Kathy is in my life. I’m very grateful that the ‘thing’ that is undoing me continues to draw me to Kathy and the presence of Love in her, and others like her. As Kathy would say… it’s just Love drawn towards Love. I suppose that means the Love in me also. M x


The Verandah Report

image:  podie in my world  by melinda blair paterson

Sitting here on my verandah this morning I notice the cows are visiting again. They are not always in the paddock next to my cabin,  being moved around the property for availability of feed, and it’s always a delight when they pop back into my daily life. It’s spring here in Australia and all the little podies (calves) are popping out and joining my world. It’s such a child like thrill to see them running around the paddock, flexing their young limbs, playing with each other until it’s time to find Mum for a drink. I watch during the day as the herd comes and goes from my view. They seem to have a natural rhythm for moving from one end of the paddock to the other. My end seems to be a favourite for late afternoon munchings, and sometimes late night rubbings up against the verandah posts or chewing on my blinds… both of which will have me stomping outside letting them know this is not welcome behaviour. Vandalistic cows are not ok!… and of course the podies are the worst. As they mature they are just like rebellious teenagers and take little notice of my shooing or stomping. Over the years I’ve surrendered more… less shooing and stomping… more ‘oh well, the cow is just being a cow, and that’s how it is.’ It’s become more like… I’m the visitor in their world.

Animals, birds, nature in general are a wonderful reminder of that. Living close to nature as I do, I am constantly bought back to the moment of now as I observe the flight and song of a bird, the silent passing of a cloud or butterfly, and the brief scent of blossom or the gentle rustle of leaves brought by the wind. Of course there are many such moments, in fact, they are endless. It is something I find nature gently reminds me… again and again. It’s all endless… or as Jackie O’Keeffe says… just movements taking place in form.

I was reading her book ‘Born to be Free‘ this morning, and in the chapter ‘effortless’ she writes:  Let what is moving, move; without your interest, thoughts pass by. Pay no attention to them and, in doing so, your actions will leave no trace of a personal agendaAll that has form happens within that which isThus, one can only be part of the unfolding of consciousness, whether living from the natural state or living a personal life.’

I’ve been pondering this idea for a week now. The idea that whether someone is so called ‘awake’ or not, aware of their natural state or not, doesn’t matter because we are all consciousness… just movements taking place in form. I’ve felt a relaxing and a letting go, a sense that it doesn’t matter what my so called status of awareness may be… or not. Phew! That’s a relief. I think I’ll just go grab another cuppa on the verandah and watch the cows moooove!  M x